Do We Have Self-Confidence?

“I don’t know if the horse will starve while the grass grows, but I know you have to have confidence.”
Totò

We all have a picture of our own self; positive or negative but an image nevertheless. We shape this image from our early childhood: a child who feels loved and respected by his parents begins building his inner confidence. Socializing will, even at the kindergarten age, have an influence on the awareness of the various levels of acceptance by peers. The foundation of our self-confidence is the love and friendship of others.
As we grow up, the puzzle of self-esteem continues to be shaped by the addition of new tiles: school success, goal setting and reaching, the love of a partner... Therefore, self-confidence is based both on the esteem others have of us and the confidence we have in ourselves. The appreciation of others is important but we can and should always ask ourselves: "For whom do I want to be important, and what do I think is important?" Ancient Greek philosophers have asked themselves these questions: is it wealth, success, friendship, love, family, beauty?

There is still no definitive answer and not one is common for everyone. Another important element: the comparison between what we want to be and what we think we are. It does not mean that this comparison is objective; that it corresponds to the truth. We could believe we are better or worse than what we really are! There are people who have a very strong sense of self-esteem, those self-centered people or big heads, and others who have qualities but cannot seem to see them or believe in them. Yet, few are superheroes and few are nonentities.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is important to know our own limits, not so much to say: "This is how I am, there is nothing I can do about it", but to say "I have these particular problems, I will not become a genius in this field but I can always try to improve myself". Nobody knows where our path may lead us, but self-confidence is an important and enjoyable travel companion.

TEST

1. To you, self-esteem is
   1. overrated
   2. that you believe in yourself more than in others
   3. that you believe in yourself despite the others
2. How are you?
   1. well
   2. ok
   3. not well
3. Your boss needs to entrust someone with an important task, you
   1. think he will ask someone else
   2. think he will ask you
   3. are waiting for his decision
4. You have to participate in a play, you
   1. would like the part of the protagonist
   2. would like a secondary role
   3. will refuse to participate
5. Your relationship is over
   1. the next one will be the right one
   2. freedom is great
   3. there will never be anyone better
6. In a restaurant known for its specialities, you
   1. choose a classic plate
   2. ask the waiter for his advice
   3. choose the speciality that intrigues you the most
7. Your first name is rather rare:
   1. it seems quite ordinary to you
   2. you like it because it is yours only
   3. you use a nickname
8. A friend is good-naturedly teasing you, you
   1. let her be
   2. get depressed
   3. respond with a joke of your own
9. You would like to participate in an interesting activity but you are already very busy, you
   1. turn it down
   2. will succeed in everything
   3. begin, then you see happens
10. A colleague gives you a compliment; your first reaction is:
    1. it was about time he noticed
    2. I bet he needs a favour
    3. I deserve it
11. In a week, how much alone time did you have:
    1. almost none
    2. little
    3. enough
12. Your boss wants to speak with you, you think
    1. who knows what she wants?
    2. I’m going to get an interesting assignment!
    3. I’m going to get so much criticism!
13. You have to decide what to do with your old schoolbooks, you
    1. try selling them
    2. keep them because they could always be useful
    3. keep them as souvenirs
14. Physically, you’ve let yourself go a little:
    1. gym and diet, immediately
    2. gym and diet, tomorrow
    3. does appearance count that much?
15. You just gave a conference and people in the audience ask you a lot of questions, you think:
    1. I raised interest
    2. I was not clear enough
    3. when is this over?

SCORE

EXPLANATIONS

FROM 45 TO 35 POINTS:

SUCH CONFIDENCE! 

You are sure that you can get where you want to go because you believe in yourself a lot, sometimes quite a lot, and sometimes... a little too much. Socrates, the philosopher, said: "I know that I know nothing", but without having to go back about 2,400 years, a more current saying would be: "You never stop learning". And proverbs are often right. You know you’re good and that may be true, but wouldn’t it be better if it were the others who told you?

FROM 35 TO 24 POINTS:

CORRECT SELF-CONFIDENCE

You have enough self-confidence. You think that the results you get are proportionate to the commitment you take on because you do not like to give others the wrong impression about who you really are. You know quite well your strengths and weaknesses and you try to juggle between them. Others understand and appreciate that.
 

FROM 24 TO 15 POINTS:

YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU THINK

Why should others have confidence in you if you have so little of it yourself? We can and we should always grow. Maybe you have not yet found the right method for you or maybe you have not applied yourself in the right way. You can enquire on how to study or work better, the results will not be long in coming, and you’ll be prouder of yourself. Try! How much do you have to lose?