CONTACT WITH TACT
SENSIBILITY IS NOT ONLY FOR
CHRISTMAS
Irene Schiff
Christmas is a
time for goodwill, for moments shared with loved ones around a large elegantly
decorated table, and there are also occasions for less formal get-togethers with
friends, acquaintances and colleagues to share good wishes.
Short-lived moments or longer events, words and smiles to remember with pleasure, but there are also dissatisfactions because of our own behaviour or the behaviour of others. I didn't explain myself well, I could have used another expression, his behaviour has humiliated me even if it was surely not his intention. How often have you said this to ourselves! Sensibility and style is not only a matter of good etiquette. No matter how perfectly well we set the table, we can lack sensibility with our conversation partners, and when there are persons with disabilities, our embarrassment can be even greater. We can be overwhelmed by doubt. How should I behave? What should I say? What should I not say?
It may seem strange but
when talking with a blind person, for example, it's all right to say the verb
'to see' because it is possible to see through other senses, but the sentence 'I
have placed the book there' can be more problematic. It's better to say
this: The book is on the table in front of you. And the expression, I'll
bring you there, even if it shows our willingness to help, could be substituted
by: If you want, we'll go together. Yes, the red light is also for him. And, how
did it happen? If a person wants to talk about it, and I repeat, if he or she
wants to talk about it, then he or she will decide to do so, otherwise, we will
keep our curiosity, however naive, to ourselves. Little things? Certainly not;
tact, or sensibility, transforms an unpleasant or uncomfortable moment in one
that will be pleasingly remembered.
Test your own sensibility:
1) A girl is writing her own
diary, you think:
a) what a waste of time
b) I would like to read it
c)
how sweet
2) In a discussion:
a)
you listen more than you speak
b) you speak more than you listen
c) you
listen and speak equally
3) You know that the other
person has different ideas than you:
a) you wait until the person expresses
his or her own ideas first
b) you let the conversation flow
spontaneously
c) you express your thoughts right away so that the other can
adjust
4) When a person has
another objective in mind:
a) you often don't realize it
b) you have some
doubt but you are not sure
c) you know it right away
5) Have you ever been told
that your tone of voice was either too high or too low:
a) often
b) only
if you are excited or bored
c) rarely
6) One of your friends
tells you that he or she has a problem:
a) you wait until your friend tells
you what it is
b) you ask your friend what it is
c) you say something
unrelated and walk away
7) On the news, they are
reporting a tragedy that happened during the day:
a) you turn off the TV
because it would hurt you too much to hear it
b) you listen, these things
happen all the time
c) you listen even if it moves you
8) Have you ever been told
that you speak too fast or too slow:
a) often
b) only if you are excited
or bored
c) rarely
9) Someone wants to offer
you a cat, you think:
a) how can I organize myself?
b) how cute!
c)
what excuse can I imagine to get out of this?
10) After an animated
discussion with an acquaintance:
a) you offer to see each other again
sometimes
b) you try to say goodbye politely
c) you say that you prefer
not to see him or her again
11) Your friends compare
you to:
a) a lion
b) a cat
c) a puppy
12) You enter the house,
you were told there has been some tension, but everything now seems
back to normal:
a) you feel it anyway
b) if no one had told you, it would
have been difficult for you to notice
c) everything is quiet, there is
certainly a mistake
13) Someone is asking a
personal question and you don't want to answer it:
a) you elude the
question
b) you answer that it's something you don't want to talk about
c)
you say that it's none of their business
14) Your remember more
easily:
a) anniversaries and repeated events
b) meetings
c) where you
put objects
15) Holidays are for:
a)
getting some rest
b) enjoying ourselves
c) discovering new
things
SCORE
To answers A B
C
1) 1 2 3
2) 3 1 2
3)
3 2 1
4) 1 2 3
5) 1 2 3
6) 3 2 1
7) 3 1 2
8) 1 2 3
9) 2 3
1
10) 3 2 1
11) 1 3 2
12) 3 2 1
13) 3 2 1
14) 3 1 2
15) 2 1
3
EXPLANATIONS
FROM 45 to 35
POINTS:
SUPER SHARP DETECTING NUANCES
Tact and sensibility are your strength. You really know how to deal with people because feelings and emotions are very important to you. Be careful, though, not to burden yourself in useless details or to preoccupy yourself with certain behaviour others could have; not everyone is as sensitive as you are!
FROM 34 TO 26
POINTS:
TEACHER OF SAVOIR FAIRE
You know how to change 'being together with others' into 'being well together with others'. You have an intuition for what interests others and what their sensibilities are, and not only do you adapt well to others, but you let your good style influence and guide others.
FROM 25 TO 15
POINTS:
IMPROVING IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE
Try to listen to yourself when you speak, and try to understand the reasons for the discomfort people close to you may experience. Are you sure your behaviour has been the best it could be? Try to put yourself in other people's shoes and imagine what they can feel; it's not that difficult and you will be the first to be happy about this.