From Receiving to Giving

by Irene Schiff

It is possible to go against the current.

 

In a world like this, Nothing more to do, I've got a song to feel alive, It's you... These lyrics from A Song to Feel Alive (Il mio canto libero) by Lucio Battisti inspire us to observe how today's relationships between people have changed and how the fear of being rejected by others motivates us to adopt the "credo" that happiness comes from having things. We are no longer Homo Sapiens but Homo Consumens. Too often do we find in objects, in owning things, the solution to a feeling of emptiness, that dark empty space that we feel within us and that we try to fill in by possessing things. We also often feel unable to have a particular object based on our own ability. The Homo Faber is no longer within us because not only do we not create the things we need, but we doubt our own ability or refuse to make the effort necessary to build relationships and commit ourselves to others. And so from a I want to have we even go on to a more imperative give me. On the contrary, it is important that these relationships be based not on the exchange of objects, but rather on communication with heart, mind, passion and reason. And here again the notes of the Song to Feel Alive are written not on a staff, but in our life, giving it the right beat and the most beautiful harmony. The music is within us and we can convey it to others only by going from receiving to giving: tell me about you, talk to me about your ideas and your emotions and I will tell you about mine because I know that even if you don't agree you will try to understand.

Test: tell me what you have... and I will tell you who you are.

1) In your home there is a small bed or a couch; a friend asks you to stay over for the night:
a) he (or she) sleeps in the bed while you sleep on the couch
b) he (or she) sleeps on the couch while you sleep in the bed
c) you say that you can't have him (or her) over

2) "You will reap what you sow" is a saying that is:
a) right
b) wrong
c) that depends on the circumstances

3) Your friends have organized a party but they forgot to invite you:
a) you end the friendship
b) you organize a party and you don't invite them
c) you ask for explanations

4) You are very busy and your child is asking to play with you; you answer:
a) I can't
b) we'll play when I'm done with this
c) I'll play with you after you help me

5) You can't stand your mother-in-law and it's her birthday:
a) you call her
b) you "forget" the date
c) you visit her

6) In the company of friends, there is a conversation about another friend who has succeeded well;
a) you say: he (or she) deserves it
b) you say: he (or she) was recommended by someone in a high place
c) you enumerate his (or her) shortcomings

7) Someone asks you for a favour which requires a little effort:
a) you accept only if they return the favour
b) you gladly accept
c) you refuse

8) A colleague seems upset:
a) you take advantage of the opportunity to take the best job
b) you ignore it
c) you ask if she or he has troubles

9) You have doubts about the faithfulness of your partner:
a) you speak to him or her about it
b) you ask someone to tell your future by reading cards
c) you don't take any initiatives

10) In a train, an older person keeps telling you about his or her youth:
a) you sit somewhere else
b) you look like you are interested
c) you let the person go on but you think about other things

11) A bit of perfume:
a) you use it because it gives a pleasant sensation to others
b) you use it because it gives a pleasant sensation to you
c) you don't use it

12) You have overcome a difficult challenge:
a) you tell everyone
b) you purchase the object that you wanted so much
c) you offer a round of drinks

13) Your boss criticizes you; the day after you:
a) stay at home
b) already forgot about it
c) try to improve yourself

14) You had a bad day; you think:
a) this always happen to me
b) tomorrow will be a better day
c) maybe I forgot something

15) To get married means:
a) to have hope for the future
b) to lose one's freedom
c) to build together

SCORE

Question

A

B

C

1)

3

2

1

2)

1

3

2

3)

1

2

3

4)

1

2

3

5)

2

1

3

6)

3

2

1

7)

2

3

1

8)

1

1

3

9)

3

2

2

10)

1

1

2

11)

3

3

2

12)

3

1

2

13)

1

1

3

14)

1

2

3

15)

2

2

3

Photo - A rose in two hands

Photo - Boy and girl in a park

Photo - Sculpture of a couple

EXPLANATIONS

FROM 45 TO 36 POINTS:
TELL ME

Feelings are important to you, as well as understanding and listening the other, interpret the other's silences. People appreciate you and like you a lot for this, but you could be hurt by someone who does not think like you or could even take advantage of this trait of character. Even the bravest soldiers have protection!

FROM 35 TO 25 POINTS:
GIVE ME AND TELL ME

You believe on interpersonal relationships based on dialog, but you are not indifferent to more earthly social messages. You have many friends and you adapt to their personality; you are very good or also very crafty?

FROM 24 TO 15 POINTS:
GIVE ME?

If you had to choose between a philosophy or business course, you would choose the latter not because you are selfish but because it's a question of priority. You first want to satisfy your material needs and after you will certainly not refuse friendships and the affection they provide. And why not, this Christmas, try to reverse this order?

Photo - Small toys of people in line